Astringent of Life

Description

"When there's nothing left to burn, you have to set yourself on fire."

I poured the alcoholic astringent into the sink. I watched its contents swirl down into the drain, into nothingness. "I'm done. It's over. The world is ending," I whispered. But I was still there, and everything proceeded in its form and existence. Time would not stop and the world would not end.

So I continue on...

Piecing together the orthodox with the unorthodox and weaving together the ordinary with the extraordinary to create my conglomerate masterpiece.

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Tuesday, December 13

So Punny

Joseph: Is your leg ok?
Me: What happened to his leg?
Yuhua: Oh, I tripped and hurt my knee.
Joseph: He "knee"ed a "trip."

Saturday, June 18

fearthereaper:

ifuckinglove-zaynmalik:

justacrush:

transylvaniaonline:

jaquito:

moneyhustard:

go-build-a-cabinet:

imsureofthis:

ohne-dich:

chipsandfreedom:

Happy Potter, the boy who laughed

HARRY POTTER AND THE CHAMBER OF SMILES

Happy Potter and the Comedian of Azkaban.

Happy Potter and the Smiling Stone

Happy Potter and the Goblet of Giggles

the goblet of giggles. omfg. dying

I CAN’T I NEED AIR AAAH JAJAJAJAJJAJAJA OH GOD

Happy Potter and the Deathly Laugh. xD

HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-HILARIOUS CLOWN

HAHAHAHAHA!!

+ 181,252 notes / via stapaikcy

Thursday, June 16

“When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it. The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave. Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate. When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, “Ah, yes, that’s Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony, being played backwards.” He listened a while longer, and said, “There’s the Eighth Symphony, and it’s backwards, too. Most puzzling.” So the magistrate kept listening; “There’s the Seventh… the Sixth… the Fifth…” Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate; he stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, “My fellow citizens, there’s nothing to worry about. It’s just Beethoven decomposing.”

hotel-denouement:

moral-highground:

yougotredonyou:

nicklex:

hannahisdead:

oh my god

BEST JOKE.

THIS JOKE SHALL BE TOLD FOREVER

PFFFFFFRT.

(Source: caplan)

+ 51,429 notes / via thevietfob

What is a word made up of 4 letters yet is also made up of 3. Although is written with 8 letters, and then with 4. Rarely consists of 6, and never is written with 5?

fuck-yeah-tumblrs-best-posts:

Submitted by lmaogtfo:

What, Yet, Although, Then, Rarely, Never :D

REBLOG IF YOU GET IT.

+ 114,681 notes / via the-absolute-best-posts

Monday, January 17

Stare at the dot for 30 seconds and the orange spot shrinks

imjustaboywithadream:

(Source: xxfarfromtheusual)

+ 63,700 notes / via sincerelysungjong-deactivated20

Sunday, November 28

Email I just received titled, “Why Some Teachers Drink”

blua:

tragicheroes-:justcallmebear:

(via mrsvaccarezza)

+ 21,216 notes / via happythings

Tuesday, August 31

(via icanread)

+ 6,645 notes / via icanread

Wednesday, April 14

// iPad + Skype + retro handset = ridiculously fun mobile phone

+ 6,154 notes / via jairoo